i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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