Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
