East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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