Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
