Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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