Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize