fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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