Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
