I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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