The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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