Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I lost the right to judge tonight
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
