I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
