ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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