is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
