Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
