I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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