yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
