Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
