It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
