I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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