It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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