Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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