you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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