Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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