After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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