is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
