We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
