how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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