Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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