I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize