She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
