I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
