the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
