What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
