3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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