I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
