Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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