Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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