Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
