My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize