You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
