All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I feel like abortions should bother me more
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
