If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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