She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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