I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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