Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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