i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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