he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
