I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
