on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
