id be glad to
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
