I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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