are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
