her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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