I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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