you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize