Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My pussy is not your playground.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My liver just had a heart attack.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize