T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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