How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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