I have demons in me.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
