i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
