that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
two words: eviction party
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
