Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i will never coherently bang her
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Your cock deserves a montage
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
