I'm going to jail i love you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize