But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
