i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
