"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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